1977-1978

By DENNIS HIGHLAND

As I look back on last year and forward to this one, I reread a letter I wrote to myself acknowledging my gayness. When I wrote this "coming out" letter, recording it in my diary as part of my New Year's

resolutions, I had no idea that it could be applicable to the situations faced by so many of my gay brethren. I'm reproducing it here, so that it may be paralleled with the periences of those involved in similar circumstances:

HIGH GEAR/JANUARY 1978

weekends" offered an escape from reality which so many of us needed. I remember these events particularly well because of the interesting people I met and the strange situations I encountered, which educated me about certain aspects of gay life that are rarely visible.

No matter what type of place or event we attend, all of them in one way or another afford us opex-portunities to meet "one night stands" as well as potential. friends. We may even fall in love (or become infatuated) and then fall out of it again, feeling sad and bitter for a few days and then perking up for the weekend, when we can go out again for new possible encounters. But it is the friends how different are the definitions each of us ascribe to that word! that

"For years I can recall feelings which could not be explained, nor whose motivations determined. Perhaps this problem of expressing my true feelings was not a deliberate repression of the truth, then again, perhaps it was; it doesn't really matter now, for this false front has if not entirely at least nearly passed. I have come out to myself. No longer should I bear the tension, the veritable torture of indecision. At least I know myself, and am not ashamed of it. I am a homosexual My experiences upon which I write this are a type of confirmation, and will undoubtedly be followed by many more experiences. As time passes by, I will continue to learn to live with my preferences for men, a condition which was initially involuntary, but one which I now find to be completely acceptable. I do not consider my predilections to be an emotional problem, but a potentially productive facet of my emotional and physical being. Most importantly, I have become true to myself, and I am glad for it."

It is immaterial that precise words are used, or even whether or not they are written; it is a mental determination that all of us, in one way or another, must consciously consider before we can totally accept ourselves as gay people.

I have often considered what I said in my "coming out" letter during last year as I went to various gay events and met other people. I've tried to see just how far I have gone in fulfilling the resolutions for 1977, and see what I should attempt for 1978. I am using the term "gay events" rather losely in considering the past year,

because the resources available

specifically for gay people are, admittedly, rather limited.

There are always the bars, with familiar faces and new ones; the baths, with the anonymous sex and strange cruising games; and the parks, with their element of danger. In 1977 there were also the gay picnics out of town, where it was almost overwhelming to realize

that so many gay people could

seem to have the single greatest impact on our gay lives!

So now the new year is here. Many of us, myself included, pause to reflect on our successes and failures for last year and what we want to accomplish this year. This is where the concept of "friends" arises, because it is in the context of friendships I have made and hope to make that I distinguish, in part, between a good year and a mediocre one. I consider this important because I am unable to love someone before like them first.

What should we try to accomplish for 1978? Besides the private goals that each of us may formulate, I believe that as part of a collective minority known as the "gay community," there are promises we should make to ourselves regarding our conduct. It isn't my intention to offer specific resolutions, but only some general thoughts that each individual can put into practice as s/he sees fit. I feel this way because I believe that 1978 could be the best year yet for us. Recent developments in Cleveland and the nation indicate a potential renaissance in the gay movement. We can help further the interests of the gay community through our individual conduct.

Thus, I would like all of us to remember that true beauty lies under the skin, that sex should be a physical way of expressing a mental attraction, and that emotional gratification experienced with those of the same gender is what "gay" is all about. In 1977 I undertook to establish these ideas in order to create some order out of a gay life often bereft of direction or

purpose. In 1978 I hope to con-

tinue from last year and apply this purpose to our individual lives. I think we're ready for it.

be at one place. These "gay WILDE OSCAR IS COMING

AS I SEE IT

by Aaron Ross

If any of us High Gear readers need more proof that the gay life style is becoming more acceptable in our society just look around. TV, movies, the stage, pop music, fashion, records, books everywhere in every media every entertainment the gay experience is felt, enjoyed, accepted. It's High time. Here's just a sampling of what I mean.

The Stage: After 4 postponements (and 2 years since it opened off-Broadway) "A Chorus Line" is finally opening at the Hanna Theatre on Feb. 6, for a 5 week run. Nowhere in print in this area (except in this publication) will you find mention that this show is as gay as they come. But stated simply "A Chorus Line" is the definitive play on the gays in show

business. Not one but three characters in the show repeatedly relate their "gay-

ness." And one of the male leads tears the house down with a beautiful, touching and dramatic scene relating how he discovered his gayness and how

Page 11

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him, with pride and candor, so that he can accept himself equally. Can a so-called "mass" and straight audience find empathy with this character? And if not empathy at least sym-

pathy? Just visit the Hanna and see the reaction to this gay portrayal. A standing, hysterical ovation that stops the show cold in the middle of the act. Now we all know that dance and the theatre are "safe" havens for gays (for reasons I will get to later) but to witness a non-gay audience accept this fact and applaud it is a milestone in gay history.

In last month's column I mentioned the upcoming appearances of Manhattan Transfer (Jan. 21) and Bette Midler (Jan. 26) at the Front Row Theatre. I repeat these engagements now to enforce the premise of this piece these are entertainers speaking, dancing, singing and cavorting around with all the "in" stuff gays relate to and because of it (not in spite of it) straight audiences love it. And the

"straights" have made heroes of the David Bowies, Elton Johns, Rod Stewarts, etc. partly because of these rock stars dress, make-up, affectations and

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yes admitted homosexuality (at times). (I hate the word "Bi-Fri. Sexual" it's as if one can have

hetero and homo sex at the very

same moment). In fact, I state

that entertainers "who come out

of the closet" and admit their sexual preferences are not so noble or courageous as we may think. They're smart. They know that their uniqueness captivates, titilates, and enthralls their audience (even the dating boyand-girl teenagers and young adults who mainly comprise their followings.)

Continued on Page 16

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Very little is really known about the experiences of older lesbians and gay men. Chris Alvig of New York City is trying to research the subject of the older gay population, which many of us will eventually join.

To attain success with his research, he is asking any gay person over 50 to write or call for an anonymous questionnaire or a personal interview. Write: Questionnaire, c/o Chris Alvig, 2350 Broadway, New York, New York 10024; telephone (212) 8770063.